Difficult relationships: Are they your Soulmate or simply “Not the One”?

Not a few tarot readings on YouTube always zone in on love readings; maybe because that is one subject that never fails to attract viewers. But I always wonder what is it about “Soulmate” that entices people to really listen to the readings – are they wishing that finally they will meet that soulmate or the person they are dealing with is their soulmate.

Searching the Internet on what a relationship with a soulmate is like, one word commonly describes it: Difficult. How contradicting, yes? The romance of a lifetime relationship with a soulmate will in time turn out into a difficult relationship.

There have been misconceptions or misinformation about soulmates. First of all, one does not have only one soulmate. It is no accident that the people we meet are people we have had soul ties with.

But soulmates are not, in my belief, monsters that can wreak havoc in our lives and be justified that it is because they are our soulmates and that they are teaching us virtues that we lack.

There is no excuse to glorify a relationship that only gives heartaches and regrets as a soulmate relationship.

A soulmate relationship like a twin flame relationship is complementary. The twin flame relationship, however, is that your union has a mission to benefit a greater good, whereas the soulmate is for the personal, intimate growth of the partners.

Soulmate relationships are not meant to destroy us! On the contrary, they build us up and not pounce on our weaknesses.

Soulmate relationships feel light not dark; they make us believe in love, not avoid it or traumatized by it; it makes us trust the process of the relationship despite a tendency of skepticism.

Soulmate relationships do not provoke you to the point of madness or obsession. It makes you experience the right measure of loving yourself and sharing yourself with someone. It also makes you appreciate boundaries, and not even strain you to understand what a healthy boundary is and what is not.

Soulmate relationships do not bring out one’s “weaknesses” but rather make one’s strengths shine. We all have our weaknesses and nothing can make them go away or make us move past them. But only when our strengths, our good virtues become stronger can we address our weaknesses.

Imagine, if your weakness is jealousy, and the so-called “soulmate” partner is doing things that make you more jealous, how can that teach you a lesson? But a true soulmate is a person who does not give you reasons to be jealous. Instead, they magnify your other strong points like being affectionate, for example, or being a good listener (which on occasions are clouded by triggered fits of jealousy).

How about people who are partnered with narcissists? Does that mean that they are being empathetic, among other virtues, a sign of weakness that they end up with narcissistic partners? Narcissists become that because they have their own baggage to unpack.

One more thing that I am always uncomfortable by the disinformation that soulmates, after running away, return after a long while of absence. I often hear this in Tarot readings online. That is why many people who believe in this runner-chaser dynamic of soulmate relationships hold on to their ex-“soulmate” partner.

This is doing you a disservice. An ex leaves because they need to work on themselves…it has nothing to do with you at all. Your pains from this separation may teach you lessons or make you stronger, but that is your own work and the ex has nothing to do with that. The situation is instrumental to your lesson, not the ex. Let them go and set yourself free from the agony of the what-could-have-been and the what-ifs.

I came across this quote a while ago. This, for me, says it best which one is a true soulmate relationship, and which is simply a bad one.

The Wrong One will find you in Peace and leave you in Pieces;
The Right One will find you in Pieces and Lead you to Peace.

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Prayer to meeting your soulmate
This is part of the Novena for St Anne, the patroness for finding a future spouse, from PrayMoreNovenas.Com

O St. Anne, you are my spiritual grandmother. Please pray for me!

I come to you today with my heartache and pain. It hurts right now to not have what I most desire. It hurts to feel as though God has forgotten me in my waiting.

I ask that you pray for me today that God will heal the hurt that exists within me, and that He will use the suffering that I have been enduring, for His greater glory.

Please help me, St. Anne, to not waste my suffering, but to instead, lay it at the foot of the cross and carry it courageously throughout my days.

Please pray that Jesus will relieve even an ounce of the pain I feel and that He will accept my suffering, and use it as He wills. Please pray that He will teach me to love through this cross.

Please pray for…(Mention your intentions here).

But most of all, please pray that I may be open to God’s will the way that you were and that I will be able to wait with patience, perseverance in faith and hope, and with absolute trust in the Lord’s plan for me.

Amen.

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