When waiting becomes toxic

Quitting a job? Wait until a new one comes by. Want to find love? Wait for the right person. Feeling something is wrong with the body? Wait for more symptoms to show before going for a check-up.

Why do we wait when we can do things now? Why do we procrastinate? Does waiting shield us from making mistakes? Does it validate the inability to make decisions that we need to seek approval for? Are we buying time because we want to have it all?

The problem with quitting the job and missed opportunities

So you want to resign but cannot do it as yet because 1) you do not have the 6-months’ worth of savings to haul you through job gaps; 2) you need first to have a job lined up for you; 3) you have critical financial responsibilities.

Your reasons are valid. Your fears are valid. Nevertheless, when your gut instinct tells you that something is no longer serving you, like your current job, then it may be time to step away from it. Immediate and even without the assurance of a new job, are at times necessary when deciding to resign. Waiting is denying new opportunities crossing your path.

So, when is the right time?

The right time is that instance when you feel it is time to take a leap of faith. If it’s money that you’re anxious about before taking a bold step, usually it comes to you or an opportunity for it is presented to you. But because we have this “ideal” of how much is enough, or how it can be achieved, we would pass up the chance and wait for another one that fits our expectation to come by.

This happened to me nearly three years ago: I had the opportunity to move out of my location and granted a reasonable amount to start my life over. Prior, I wanted to quit my job and just go into business. Then, situations just conspired that I was able to get money (from a property sale), though not the amount that I was expecting to be sufficient. In short, I did not trust that opportunity. I redacted and have regretted that decision for the next two years.

But you know what I discovered? Opportunities have their way of coming back into our lives. In my opinion, opportunities that are meant to happen moves back into a cycle if we ignored them for the first time. But if again, we do not take heed, although it will come back again, a new cycle takes a while longer to begin.

That’s why it is important to stay focused in our desires and be open to opportunities. Let not our expectations narrow our chances of finally getting to our destination. It is also important to not give up when we pass up a chance, which we, later on, would regret. Trust that it will come back to you – if it was meant for you – either in the same or much better form. Accept and give thanks.

Waiting in vain for love

“When the right one comes along…”, a usual adage of people who are putting relationships on the back burner. For some, it is not because being in a romantic relationship is not a priority for the time being, but that it is scary to be in one. For the “jaded” ones, It does not matter whether or not you have been in one or more relationships that “fail”; you still wish to find the “one”, for keeps.

Going through heartbreaks, one finds it hard to trust again and go into another relationship; Especially, not into a “rebound” relationship. Rest your heart, if you may. But let not the thought that waiting for the right one to come along will heal the scars. Lessons in love are learned in the most painful, silliest and toughest ways – again and again.

Funny that we would have the notion that heartbreaks teach us lessons to be wiser and stronger in love. Maybe the first heartbreak does, but the succeeding ones? I do not think so. For if they were, we would not be hurting each time we go through another breakup. Each relationship is unique, regardless of the current partner has semblance somewhat to an old flame.

Hence, each pain is not like the others; and because they are different, we also approach it differently. So, why wait? Good people come by every day: We bump into them in the supermarkets, in the neighborhood, in the church, at the park, during conferences and get-togethers; and even online, who knows? They are everywhere. Although the ones we are meant to be with maybe distance and time away, still, we will never know if we do not take chances in love as soon as is possible.

When one decides to wait, he or she hides their heart; they shut off their emotions, their receptiveness; their radar. They announce rather outwardly or subconsciously that they are not yet available. We turn down possibilities even before they happen. We wait, for something that we do not know if we will still have the time for, if and when it comes by. Our fantasy of possessing better versions of the past in the near future restricts us from marveling at the gift of the present. Open our hearts to possibilities of meeting the “right” one now.

Make time for health

Unless you live in a tightly controlled environment where diet is strictly non-fat, non-sugar, purely organic and a full exercise regime can be achieved with a click of a button; then it is likely you are to face some health issues, sooner or later. Let us wish it to be later but it brings benefit to not procrastinate on keeping your health in check.

I do not mean seeing a doctor and do an executive check-up although most health advisers would suggest that. But adopting a low-fat, low-salt, and natural food diet as soon as now may slow-down, if not reverse health issues borne from unhealthy eating habits you have had in the past. And past here could mean, a minute ago, FYI.

There are tonnes of recipes from the Internet that you can try, with more vegetables in it and using less oil, if you live in a country where sauteing in edible oils is a standard. I discovered Japanese or Korean cooking as healthy alternatives to my usual Iberian recipes. Also, I ditched vegetable oils for my new favorites, olive oil and sesame oil – the latter, an Asian cooking must. But, go easy on soy sauce!

You may try the exercises suggested in this video, which I think are especially useful for people who are physically limited to do high-intensity exercises.

Also, clear your mind and reduce anxiety by meditating and grounding.

Reduce time, if you cannot avoid, associating with toxic people.

Drink water. Do not smoke. Stop or reduce your intake of alcohol and caffeine (even though some health experts say wine, beer and coffee are not unhealthy).

Make time to go outdoors, even if it’s only walking in the park. This is especially beneficial for stay at home moms, or work from home people. Do not hole up yourself where you cannot harness the health benefits of sunlight. Besides, sitting too long (in the case of work from home people) are detrimental to health. Read HERE about the effects of sitting for a long period of time.

Choose the TV shows you watch. I seldom watch the news, especially the local ones that only report on the ills of the society. Read good books.

The bottom line is that we need to listen to our body. Our body sends subtle signals when the health issue starts to percolate. A sudden headache, stomach upset, metallic taste in the mouth, fatigue, sleepiness…they are negligible signals that are easy to brush aside, or remedy by popping a pill. Put down your paperwork, or whatever you are attending to whenever your body sends you the signal to stop. Nobody, not even your boss cares about your health more than you should yourself. I, a certified workaholic, am doing this too, now.

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