Questioning God (and why He is silent)

Questioning God (or arguing with Him) frequently emerge when we lose a loved one, lose riches or property, become ill, become a victim of injustice (or witness injustice), and other events. In other words, we question God during times of great sorrow. We seek answers in order to make sense of what has occurred.

I cannot speak for God, but I can tell you about how my relationship with him has evolved, and perhaps you can learn a thing or two from my experience.

God is almighty and omnipotent. Our faith, whether whole or incomplete, or fluctuating, can never compel God to abandon us or cease His love for us. God, the personification of patience, listens and gives us all the time in the world to express ourselves. If we repeatedly vent to a friend, we may eventually exhaust them and strain our friendship.  

But God’s ability to listen and empathise knows no bounds. If we believe that God is not “hearing,” it is because He is already planning to make things happen to relieve our anguish. He begins to arrange events in such a way that they would conspire to heal us and restore our well-being. Remember that God is the master of miracles.

Honest relationship

Even in human relationships, we question our loved ones in order to find answers and settle our doubts. These dialogues strengthen relationships by fostering honesty and openness.  

While God’s love has always been straightforward, His promise to “ask and you shall receive” appears to be too good to be true. Is it because we judge His love in the same way as we judge human love? We certainly do. When we look at our relationships, we have built-in expectations. These demands, however, do not exceed human norms. These are the only criteria we are capable of understanding. 

But, even if God is not “human,” it is OK for Him to love Him in the same manner that we love humans, and it will make no difference to Him; He will not withhold his “God-ly” love when we do. God’s love is unfathomable, beyond all laws and expectations. He multiplies our capacity for giving and expressing love.

“Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest”

Matthew 11:28

Re-connecting with the self

When I was at the brink of questioning God, I felt my angels (who represent God’s love and are one of God’s strongest love languages for me) stepping back behind me when they are normally beside me or above me, and I immediately felt the “imbalance” as if my crouches were removed spiritually.

However, questioning activates that “urge” for space where we can become intimate with our higher self – our direct link to God (Divine life/spiritual source). Questioning does not imply distancing ourselves from God, as if we are defying or challenging Him, but rather reconnecting with our Higher Self to find answers to our questions within ourselves – answers that are anchored to our own experiences and life lessons learnt. In other words, we (generally) already know the answers to our inquiries; it’s just that the answers can compound our sadness (for example, exacerbate emotions of guilt or regret at the time) or that we want assurance.

Being vulnerable

Questioning (God) while we are vulnerable fosters humility in our relationship with Him. We seek solutions because we don’t know, and we’re admitting that only God has control. This moment of vulnerability allows for a full self-disclosure that can deepen our understanding of our life’s purpose. We become angry, we cry, we cuss, we threaten to abandon our Faith, and (at times) we feel guilt because we are vulnerable as human beings and co-creators in this world. We reveal more of our “inner selves” to ourselves, revealing aspects of ourselves that we do not like to admit.

Let me assure you that nothing in us, neither our strongest nor our weakest tendencies, can jeopardise our relationship with God. God strengthens us more while we are weak.  The more broken we are, the more determined God is to make us whole again. The more we try to distance ourselves from God’s Love, the closer He comes to us.

“Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God ….”

Romans 35:39

Healing silence

But why is it that sometimes, even when we are crying, there is only stillness around us? Where is God in this time of loneliness and pain? Why does God allow us to suffer in this seemingly never-ending abyss of sorrow? Where is He when we need Him to console us?

God is listening amid the darkness, solitude, and emptiness. God is listening intently to your tears, your heart screaming, and those frantic phrases in your thoughts within this enormous cavern of darkness and quiet. It’s just you and Him here, your soul engulfed inside His embrace, bringing tranquillity, free of external noise or visual disturbances.

The lingering stillness also prevents us from dwelling on our troubles or the source of our misery. When you ruminate, you tend to replay the events that lead up to your grief or whatever unpleasant emotions you are feeling.  

The hush during your dialogue with God offers a healing pause. It puts an end to any memories that you may be experiencing. It is His gentle way of saying “Stop…”. He is not distant…you are simply brought to a state of calmness. This is God’s healing silence.


These no-holds-barred conversations with God help us untangle our sentiments, which have been entwined with other unpleasant emotions and, if bottled up, will leave us confused and powerless. Feelings that are specific to us can be difficult to bear. God becomes a shoulder to cry on, a more-than-willing sounding board, whether we realise it or not.

Thus, again, it is entirely fine to “question” God. We are all human, and our faith is no exception. God is a merciful, all-knowing, and forgiving God. He does not let suffering or sadness to overcome us, but rather empowers us to overcome them by utilising our spiritual strength, which is one of our gifts.

In the depths of our sadness, despair, grief, or anxiety, when we feel we are losing control of the situation or of how we might respond to these circumstances, never consider questioning God to be a sin against Him, a relapse from our Faith, or a failure as a human being. Questioning God, on the other hand, affirms His role in our lives and emphasises that we need Him to take control – and God will.

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