Spirits at my uncle’s death bed

My uncle (my mother’s only brother and sibling) died in 2020, not from Covid-19, but from a longstanding health condition.

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In his heyday, he was a heartthrob who left a trail of broken hearts from short-lived amorous relationships. But he is a great person, quick-witted, and his mind remained sharp even in his final days.

His final months, weeks, and days, on the other hand, were marked by sadness, loneliness, and physical and emotional pains. Because his family lives in another country, he was separated from them for the most part of his ordeal.. We, his nieces and nephews, live in various parts of the country. I went to see him several times but only stayed for a day each time.

During those visits, I witnessed (and felt) his physical agony…his whimpers that pierced my heart. I would try to relieve his discomfort by passing my hands over the areas where he complained, with the intention of bringing energy healing. They were tender and painful, so I wouldn’t touch them. But, through it all, he was not angry – an irony given that, before he became ill, and in his normal state, he had a temper and bursts of antagonism.

In the final stages of his life, I see a calm and patient man with a hint of anxiety and sadness; Feeble-bodied, but not broken-spirited.

He would tell me about his days during my visits. He once said he wanted to SMS my mom to inquire about a specific medication, but then realized she was already gone. There was also a time when he began smoothing his shirt with his palms and straightening the collars, as if he was going somewhere and needed to look presentable.

One of my hospital visits was particularly memorable. My uncle was in a private room that was comfortable and air-conditioned. His bed took up a third of the room, and there was a side table and a couch nearby for visitors or caregivers. A private nurse was with him at the time, and one or two of his errand-staff would come in and out of the room. A TV mounted on the wall was a few feet from the foot of his bed, and the comfort room was to the left. There was a large window nearby with sliding tainted brown glass.

“They” were present

My uncle wasn’t as talkative as he used to be, but he was still chatting and venting about his illness. He also began speaking strangely about my niece (the deceased eldest sister’s daughter), as if he was suddenly concerned about her. Then, in between pep talks, he’d doze off.

While he was sleeping, I turned away from his caregiver and stared out the window, sobbing. I was overcome with sadness. I could see his reflection in the window’s glass as he slept on the bed. Aside from him, I could “see” and perceive three other “presence”. When I said, “see”, I meant see in my mind’s eye.

What I “saw” and sense was the presence of his mother-in-law (who passed in October, 2018); that of my late sister’s (who passed on in 2008); and faintly, of mom’s (who passed on in December, 2018).

Interestingly, I saw them “appearing” not together but in, shall I say, different “dimensional bubbles”.  I could only recall “seeing” only their “faces” and they were hovering about three feet above my sleeping uncle. The mother-in-law (who also happened to be my godmother in confirmation or “kumpil” – a Catholic sacrament) “appeared” first and the face was slightly larger than that of my sister’s which “appeared” next to her (about a few inches away) . My mom’s appearance was not “visual” but I sensed her presence above my uncle.

“Don’t families stay together?” “Not necessarily,” he told me. “Earth ties have less meaning here. Relationships of thought, not blood, are what count.”

― Richard Matheson, Author of What Dreams May Come (novel)

I tried to figure out if there was a message or anything that would explain their visit, but there wasn’t. I believe they were simply watching over him.

It’s difficult to say how long it lasted because, while the “psychical vision” had passed, the awareness that they were “present” lingered until I left.

Dimensional bubbles

Dimensional bubbles

When I say, their presence without the psychical visual, I meant their presence but not in our 3D realm. To explain further:  myself, my uncle and everyone and everything else in that hospital room is in the 3D realm. However, the “presences” of my mother, sister, and the mother-in-law were in different dimensions that “encroached” the 3D realm, allowing me to sense and “see” them. 

It was intriguing to me that my visual perception of the mother-in-law was more prominent – one with a strong maternal vibe. It could be because my uncle and his mother-in-law had been together the longest and had lived under the same roof for decades until their last days. My sister’s presence, visually speaking, was less prominent yet it was nevertheless striking.

My mom’s presence was faint and I did not see her at all. But she still occupied a “space”. It is like there were three dimensional bubbles (note: for the lack of a better term, I have coined this term), with only two of those bubbles filled up with “immaterial” forms.

Spirits occupy space

Speaking of my mother, I recall celebrating her 40th anniversary of death with a mass at St. Padre Pio of Pietrocina Chapel in Libis, Quezon City. I was attending the service with two other family members, and we were seated on a pew alongside other churchgoers.

The Chapel had begun to fill up, with the majority of the pews already occupied. Our bench was nearly full as well, but two to three people could still sit comfortably.  There was a churchgoer looking for a vacant spot, approaching our bench. Now, there was still an unoccupied space between me and the next person on the bench. But the churchgoer, obviously coming in for that unoccupied spot suddenly walked away and looked for another spot elsewhere.

The chapel was already packed as the mass began, with people standing in the aisles. However, a spot next to me remained vacant. Then it dawned on me that my mother was with us. She was the one who was occupying that space. It’s possible that’s why the churchgoer didn’t take that spot.

Many times, I believe, “occupancy” is more than just “visual.” It can also give off the impression that a location—a space—is already “occupied.”

Subject to perception; grief can be a hindrance

My mother’s presence was subtle when it came to my uncle. I believe it was my perception of them rather than their energies that was weak or strong. That was my impression of them, based on my recognition of them and their energy’s proximity to the person they were visiting, my uncle.

I was inclined to believe that my mother’s presence was subliminal because it had only been a year and five months since her death, and as some books say, recently disembodied spirits aren’t yet accustomed to navigating the spirit world and projecting apparitions in the physical realm.

 But thinking about it now, I feel a spirit, once in the spirit world, already has the tools to make visitations, if they so chooses. It is the perception of the “seer” that makes the difference. For example, I intuit based on energies, and it is not because my mother was not yet capable to project a stronger energy but because my lingering grief of her loss hindered my perception of her presence.

In the 1998 film What Dreams May Come, it was depicted that every time Chris Nielsen (played by Robin Williams) “reached out” to his wife Annie (Annabella Sciorra) to tell her that he still “exists” and can communicate with her, his efforts caused her more anguish. Doc (or, later, Albert Lewis, as played by Cuba Gooding Jr.) advised Chris to let go.

“When does it end…?”, asks Chris, referring to his wife, Annie’s anguish. Doc replied, ”It ends when you want….It’s over when you stop wanting to hurt her. Forever…“

-What Dreams May Come (Movie, 1998)

Communicate with spirits in an instant

Spirits are present with us, albeit in dimensions within or beyond our own. As a result, communicating with them is simple and instantaneous. For the living, the lack of a spontaneous response gives the impression that communication is impossible without a medium.

But dialogue can happen if you so wish – and it is only by quieting the mind that you can begin a spiritual dialogue with your loved ones. However, keep the process simple. Ask a question, then wait for a response. Begin with a question that can be answered with a yes or no, such as “Are you with me?” “Do you remember my birthday?”

Make your questions as positive as possible. Why? Because if you start asking questions that trigger feelings of grief, sadness, or guilt, the connection may break or you may not establish one at all.

Answers may appear as if you are hearing their words, or they may appear as symbols (objects, signage, or pictures), or they may appear as sensations (scents, feeling, etc).Trust these responses.

I recommend keeping your conversations to 1-2 questions per day and no longer than 5 minutes. Because you’ll still be in that “intuitive” state, the shorter the session, the better. In my experience, the longer I spend in a session, the more likely I am to experience intuitive fatigue, which causes the logical mind to take over. You already know what will happen: messages will be overanalyzed, resulting in bias information.

Just a reminder that before embarking on a purposeful conversion, especially for the first time, you should call on your angels (or higher beings or spirit guides for some) to guide and protect you and your loved one’s spirit. To make the connection a success, come from a place of love, acceptance, and joy.


Prayer for protection and guidance

My God and my heavenly angels who are always protecting my spirit and space, I beseech you to be with me during my conversation with (name of your loved one). I invoke your promise, oh Most High, according to Psalm 91:2-4, “LORD, You are my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust. Surely (You) will deliver (me) from the snare of the fowler, and from the deadly plague. (You) will cover (me) with (Your) feathers; under (Your) wings (I) will find refuge; (Your) faithfulness is a shield and rampart.” Amen.

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