When a beloved person passes away, we are not only confronted with sadness, but a multitude of emotions can wash over us. The intensity of these feelings varies depending on our relationship with the deceased and the experiences we shared with them. These emotions can span from profound sorrow to searing pain, and sometimes even anger.
Our reactions to their departure are equally diverse, ranging from disbelief and regret to guilt and resentment. In some instances, when a loved one leaves us with unresolved issues or feelings of hatred and regret, we find ourselves grappling with grief and animosity simultaneously. This can lead us to question whether we truly forgive them or if we’re still haunted by the past. We may even wonder if we’re failing as a daughter, son, or friend when we recall the times our departed loved ones made us suffer.
When a loved one departs without offering apologies or closure for past grievances, we are left to process these emotions on our own. Depending on our closeness to the departed, we might find ourselves justifying their actions against our own, ultimately turning our anger inward, directed at ourselves as well as them. In these moments, it feels as though we have two adversaries: one from the past, our departed loved one, and another, ourselves.
However, I’ve come to realize something profound while navigating this tumultuous love-hate cycle in the memory of a departed loved one. As our loved ones transition from human beings to spirits or souls, they shed their flawed identities. The person who used to be my mother, for instance, transforms into a spirit bathed in pure light—a being embodying unconditional love, understanding, compassion, and healing.
When we find ourselves revisiting the unresolved issues left behind by our departed loved ones, reliving the resentment, pain, and torment they may have caused, it’s not that these negative feelings are directed at them but rather at the memories—the events of the past. As spirits, once reconnected with a higher power or spiritual force, they serve as conduits of peace and resolution. They help us expand our capacity to love unconditionally and forgive.
Our departed loved ones, now existing as spirits, have the potential for a love they may not have been able to fully experience or express during their earthly lives. Particularly for those who endured significant traumas, their pain may have manifested in ways that hurt those closest to them. However, in their spiritual state, they can transcend these limitations and offer us a profound lesson in forgiveness and love.
Time for release
Indeed, our conversations with our departed loved ones in the spirit realm serve as an invitation to open our hearts and release the emotions we’ve bottled up inside. These interactions are a testament to their support for our healing journey. They assist us in various ways, such as guiding us to remember both the sweet and bitter episodes from our past.
During these conversations, they have a unique way of bringing to mind specific words, phrases, or events that hold significance and offer guidance. It’s important for us to pay close attention when these memories resurface because they carry messages and advice that our loved ones wish to impart to us. It’s as if they are saying, “This is what we want you to know.”
In these moments, it becomes clear that our departed loved ones continue to watch over us, offering their wisdom and guidance from beyond. Their presence and communication provide comfort, reassurance, and a sense of connection that can be profoundly healing for us as we navigate the complexities of life without their physical presence.
In my belief, our departed loved ones undergo a profound transformation the moment they pass away. They are no longer the same as they were during their time on Earth; instead, they become a perfect embodiment of their soul. They transcend their earthly identities, leaving them behind. For those who have suffered greatly or been victimized by their loved ones in cruel ways while alive, it’s challenging to find words of comfort or assurance of vindication. Such words may seem meaningless, especially when the trauma or pain overshadows any love and respect, they once had for their departed loved ones.
Some of us find solace in the belief in a concept of “hell” where the souls of wrongdoers are punished. It offers a sense of justice and consolation. However, what if there is no such place as “hell”? How can one find the justice they seek in such a scenario?
I believe that seeking justice for past wrongdoings by a departed loved one is a crucial step, not only toward healing but also toward forgiveness. It’s my belief that when you still feel hatred, you still care. Love can be hidden within the cracks of hatred, a love that longs for the idealized version of that loved one, such as a parent who should have been ideal but fell short.
It’s akin to them playing the wrong roles. Just as there are bad actors and good actors in a theatrical performance, there are parents who do not meet the criteria of ideal parents, depending on our perspective of an ideal parent. Some parents fail to nurture their children and subject them to emotional, psychological, and physical hardships. Others should not be parents at all, perhaps due to neglect or putting their children in harm’s way. However, their role is part of their own journey of learning life lessons. Whether they are good or bad performers in this role is another matter, and it will have its own consequences, which are ultimately between them and a higher power. Unfortunately, for some, those around them become collateral damage on their path of learning.
Initiating conversations with departed loved ones who made grave mistakes can help one move beyond the scars and trauma they left behind. It’s a step towards finding healing and understanding amid the complexities of human relationships and the challenges we face in forgiving those who have hurt us.
Remember: “If you avoid conflict to keep the peace, you start a war inside yourself.” – Cheryl Richardson, American author
Healing Conversations with Departed Loved Ones
If you’ve experienced a challenging relationship with a departed loved one and seek closure or justice, take the time to engage in a conversation with them. To do this, seek the assistance of an angelic mediator. This angel will help purify the channels of your conversation with the spirit and maintain balance in the vibrational exchange between you on the physical/material plane and the spirit on the spiritual plane.
At this stage, it’s essential not to underestimate the deceased loved ones’ capacity to seek forgiveness, understanding, and empathy from you.
I recall a relative named Gardy (not his real name), who had wronged me during my childhood. Even though I had forgiven him long ago, he never had the courage to face me again. However, when he passed away and I attended his funeral, something extraordinary happened. As I approached his casket, his relatives, who did not recognize me because of my changed appearance, began speaking about me as if Gardy was speaking through them. They expressed his pride in my achievements. This deeply moved me because it was his way of apologizing, and I couldn’t help but shed tears of forgiveness.
I also remember my best friend, Jin (not his real name), who passed away due to a respiratory illness. Jin was gay, a secret his family didn’t know. During his funeral, his sister asked me if there was something Jin had concealed from them. Though tempted to reveal the truth, “Jin” instructed me not to disclose anything. The message was a quick “No,” and I felt compelled to convey it without resistance.
As for conversations with my mom, dad, and other departed relatives, I’ve discussed in previous blogs my ability to freely communicate with them about my emotions, whether I’m happy, sad, angry, or sorry. No elaborate rituals or tools are necessary for this; it arises from confidence and trust that angels protect me and their spirits from unwanted interference.
So, my advice to you is this: Have an open conversation with your departed loved one and express your feelings. Also, articulate how you anticipate achieving vindication for any wrongs committed. Engage in this dialogue regularly or whenever you feel the need, without holding back your words or thoughts. There’s no reason to suppress your anger or disdain. The spirit of your loved one will undoubtedly come forward in one form or another and provide the answers you seek. In their perfect spiritual form, they will answer your questions, mend your wounded spirit, and bring clarity to your confused mind. During these conversations, there will be only love, free from the flaws of their earthly existence.
I often initiate conversations with my dad, mom, other relatives, or close friends who have left me with unpleasant memories. These discussions are casual in nature, but I limit discussions about negative memories to my family circle, out of respect. I don’t want people who don’t know my family well to pass judgment on them.
When I talk to them, I address them by name and speak as if they are right beside me. Interestingly, I always sense their presence diagonally “behind” or “above” me, rather than directly across or beside me. I can’t explain why I feel this way. Moreover, they seem to be in a listening mode, and occasionally, I receive “verbal” responses in my mind, typically in brief sentences.
For instance, the inspiration for this blog came from a conversation I had with my mother, whom I dearly miss. One day, as I was climbing the stairs of a bridge on my way to the supermarket, I suddenly thought of her and began conversing with her. It’s as if our departed loved ones initiate conversations with us when we think of them, a time when our “connection” with them is strong, much like having a strong network signal.
Our loved ones in spirit assist us in healing, and they communicate through various events. I say this based on my own experiences during these healing conversations. These events can include the appearance of significant numbers or words, occurrences around important dates like birthdays or death anniversaries, or the presence of meaningful pictures, names, song titles, and more. Often, I also hear their words in my mind or recall past scenes and other clues that suggest they are trying to communicate.
Once the communication flows comfortably and without resistance from fear, doubt, or anger, I believe that healing is underway if not already achieved. In such cases, it’s advisable to convey forgiveness for their past actions and ask for forgiveness for your own. This humility fosters unconditional love, not only elevating their spirits but also aiding our own soul’s growth. By embracing unconditional love in this manner, we embody the perfect creation of being made in God’s likeness.